It's crazy to think that I will have a tiny newborn in my arms in only 2 months! When I remember what I was doing 2 months ago, it really doesn't seem long ago at all. Yet, in 8 weeks, my life will change completely....once again!
I keep wanting to stop and savor these moments of pregnancy since I know that these could be the last 2 months of my life that I will share my body with another precious human being. I really do love being pregnant and I have been blessed with 2 easy pregnancies (so far!...fingers crossed). Let's just hope my delivery will be as smooth as my first.
The second pregnancy in some ways is so different than the first, yet at the same time it's practically identical! My life is certainly busier and more demanding this time around; a toddler and a cake business keep me less mindful of my growing belly.
First time around I was keeping track of the baby's growth weekly, reading lots of books and recording everything in a journal. This time I can't always remember how many weeks I am and I couldn't tell you if the baby is the size of a squash or a melon. But, I know for certain that it's growing, and what were once flutters have turned into full fledge kicks and somersaults. When I go to bed at night I sometimes lie awake staring down at my belly, watching the twitches or what looks like a ball rolling underneath my skin across my stomach. Guessing what this or that is...an arm? a knee? a butt?...it might not always be comfortable, but it never gets old. It's like a little inside joke between me and the baby when I feel a strong kick. I could be in the middle of a cake tasting, and I can't help but smile when I feel the baby move....the secret that's only shared between me and my baby.
I probably have not paid attention to a healthy diet as I did with the first...ice cream is a daily affair. I definitely have not been exercising as much either (where in the world to find the time?). I have been lifting and carrying more wedding cakes this go around than I did last. When I go to Sam's Club or Restaurant Depot to get ingredients, I am sometimes a bit disappointed that nobody rushes to my rescue when it's time for me to lift the 50 lb bag of sugar or to push the cart (sometimes carrying well over 200 lbs of butter, sugar, flour and quite often a 2 year old) up the hill to my car. It's as if the second time around people don't really notice...not quite as much love for the belly as I remember getting the first time. Maybe I have "leave me alone, I've done this before" written on my forehead. Even Isabelle uses the belly as a punching bag, throwing herself onto me and laying on top of the belly during story time (I try to grin and bear it because I think it's the coolest thing to have my 2 babies "snuggling" together with me, unbeknownst to each of them).
It's hard for me to comprehend how I will love another person as much as I love my daughter, but having a child that I already adore so much also makes me realize what I have to look forward to in the coming months and years. When I stare at Isabelle with awe and amazement, I often grow overwhelmed with happiness to know that I will be doing the same thing with another human being very soon. It is truly the greatest blessing to be a mom.
This time not knowing the sex of the baby has been a little bit harder, although I really love awaiting such a special surprise. I truly have no idea what is in store, and I would be delighted with either a little boy or girl (obviously a healthy child is all that matters!). I always wanted a sister and to picture 2 little girls growing up together makes my heart race with excitement. But I also always thought it would be perfect to have a boy and a girl, to experience raising one of each and for Isabelle to have a special brother like I have. And let's face it, I know Brian would be thrilled to have a little boy to throw a football with or go on camping trips together (not that a girl can't do those things!). A big part of me wants him to have his boy the way that I (not gonna hide it!) have always wanted a little girl. Realizing that this child could complete our family makes the waiting and the not knowing that much more suspenseful...and exciting!
My second pregnancy has been almost identical to my first...other than maybe a little sicker and more exhausted in the beginning (perhaps partly due to having a toddler in the Spring wedding season?)...so there are no signs or differences thus far that make me think boy or girl. My weight gain has been exactly the same, to the pound (for which I am very grateful)! The heartbeats per minute about the same, and the measurements the same. And as far as I can tell, the belly looks and feels just like it did with Isabelle.
Please excuse the full belly exposure of my first pregancy...I know some might be grossed out by it (like my brother) but I am more proud of my baby belly than I am of my non-pregnant belly, so what the heck! I am no beauty queen in these photos, but I love documenting the visual growth of my belly because it is a miracle that continues to amaze me!
Boy or girl, I am already in love with this little one inside me. As eager as we are, I am content to wait another 2 months to meet him or her. Just as I always savored my Halloween candy for several weeks, spreading out the goodness and having only a piece or 2 a day while saving the best (reeses cups and twix) for last, I want to cherish the next 8 weeks. I want to remember this time forever because I am so grateful for the opportunity to have this incredible experience.
But when the day is here, I will be ready for you, my little reeses cup!
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